I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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