if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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