Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
