If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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