Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
