marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize