wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
