I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
