I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize