I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
