In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
