i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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