And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
