forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize