Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize