They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
