Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize