She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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