Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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