i don't plan on having that self control this summer
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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