the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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