Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hippo gnu deer
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize