you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
