You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
