There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
