Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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  (517): i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook http://tfl.nu/5f2q
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (907)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS

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  (309): I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS http://tfl.nu/kfbo
  Replies (6) Good night (3769) Bad night (812)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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  (603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x
  Replies (44) Good night (764) Bad night (4688)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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  (402): So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy? http://tfl.nu/0629
  Replies (44) Good night (6220) Bad night (1508)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And sadly I did.

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  (905): They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?" (905): And sadly I did. http://tfl.nu/9e0f
  Replies (25) Good night (2120) Bad night (4095)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.

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  (646): Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too. http://tfl.nu/dkri
  Replies (19) Good night (7017) Bad night (1711)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

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  (401): His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/b9xq
  Replies (35) Good night (8582) Bad night (1492)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair

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  (647): hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair http://tfl.nu/2ava
  Replies (25) Good night (4137) Bad night (1138)
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  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

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  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4612) Bad night (1172)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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  (204): I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks. http://tfl.nu/ehmv
  Replies (6) Good night (2174) Bad night (802)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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  (202): Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked. http://tfl.nu/s7s6
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (1236)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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  (206): But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness. http://tfl.nu/0ech
  Replies (15) Good night (3018) Bad night (494)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've literally never felt worse

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My body feels like its decomposing

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  (203): I've literally never felt worse (203): My body feels like its decomposing http://tfl.nu/4u06
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (1032)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

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  (970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1564) Bad night (364)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....

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  (601): I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now.... http://tfl.nu/8e5z
  Replies (4) Good night (765) Bad night (363)

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