whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.