Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.