Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....

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(650): View more from California

from now on my penis is your penis

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(212): View more from New York

i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

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(716): View more from New York

You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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(818): View more from California

my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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(256): View more from Alabama

My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.

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