It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The police scanner is talking about you again....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want her autograph on my taint
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.