Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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  (208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe. http://tfl.nu/02tv
  Replies (19) Good night (4016) Bad night (1151)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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  (401): if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah http://tfl.nu/0yif
  Replies (16) Good night (3872) Bad night (660)
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  (760): View more from California

  Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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  (760): Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin. http://tfl.nu/jqr4
  Replies (22) Good night (662) Bad night (5177)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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  (310): I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/e7ka
  Replies (14) Good night (3892) Bad night (1272)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.

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  (561): i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it. http://tfl.nu/80hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2360) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?

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  (410): Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants? http://tfl.nu/24sn
  Replies (7) Good night (3687) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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  (503): we need to find an occasion to wear tutus http://tfl.nu/4dk7
  Replies (17) Good night (1927) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.

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  (334): Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/200d
  Replies (6) Good night (2056) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

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  (314): Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love. http://tfl.nu/b9x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1528) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.

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  (810): I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/qnr4
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."

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  (613): We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet." http://tfl.nu/xflq
  Replies (3) Good night (1576) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?

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  (814): We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest? http://tfl.nu/lgnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting

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  (775): All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting http://tfl.nu/uofe
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad

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  (402): I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad http://tfl.nu/j5m4
  Replies (1) Good night (198) Bad night (463)

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