Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES