I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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