wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
