when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
