We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
