at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
