I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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