His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
