No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
3 2 1 whiskey
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
