You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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