God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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