I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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