I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
