I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
