I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
