I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
