I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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