when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
