Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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