if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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