i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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