y did u give ur computer a hand job?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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