I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize