He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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