we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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