Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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