i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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