I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
