Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
