Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
