but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
