1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
did you just send me my own nude
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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