Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Someone signed my nipple.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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