OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize